Shed for the Wed Blog — Shed for the Wed

FREEBIE Alert! I'm giving away one of my favorite coaching tools for free!

free food and wellness tracker health coaching experience

A lot of times when I tell people I’m a health coach, they don’t know what exactly it is what I do. They say, “Like a nutritionist?” or “so you’re a personal trainer.” I respond, “Kinda!”

Yes, I focus on foundational nutrition and activity but there is a large part of the title that people seem to miss– “coach”.

When I work with clients one on one, I coach them, first and foremost. Some of my job is sharing resources and education, but really it is about YOUR life and meeting you where you’re at. Everyone is different and each person has their own challenges in meeting their health goals. Coaching is a personalized tailored experience to you- so we base it around where you are at in your life right now.

The first thing I do when coaching clients is I have them fill out one week of this food and wellness tracker–100% accurately and judgement free. That means writing down every single thing you put in your mouth. It is an incredible tool. After one week of using it - it becomes super clear to me, and to most of my clients, where they need to clean up their routine. You would be surprised how many people walk into it thinking they know the positive and negatives of their routines, but a week later have completely different findings. If you are just getting started on your health journey this is the perfect place to start. Good news for you: if you sign up to be on my email newsletter- I’m giving it to you for free!!

how to use the journal:

I fold up the journal and tuck it in my planner (which comes everywhere with me!). The key is to keep it on you- whatever is convenient for you. If you prefer to be paperless, it’s an interactive pdf- so you can type in each box.

After you eat or drink anything, write it down. It’s important to also document your water intake (it’s programed for your standard 8 glasses a day), work outs and self care too. There is a box dedicated to gratitude- and I like to set a gratitude mantra for the week, such as, “I am grateful that my body supports me in all that I do.”

When you do this exercise for the first time, don’t let the fact that you have to write it down deter you from your current habits. It just skews your data. For example, a coworker has Starbursts on their desk to share. You normally would grab one, but the thought of writing down one Starburst is just annoying so you choose not to have it. That’s a missed opportunity to see how often this happens throughout your day and week!

At the end of the week, go through the journal, day by day, and see what stands out to you. Are you having a lot of carbs at lunch? Are there more snacks than you realized? Do you not do any self care? Were you nowhere close to hitting 8 glasses of water a day? Are you skipping breakfast?

Pick one thing to focus on during the next week and set a goal for yourself. Bonus points if you tell someone else the goal so you have an accountability buddy! If you hit the goal, see if you can do it again the next week, and maybe add one more item to your goals for the week. See how quickly you begin to reform your habits!

You can continue to use the tracker as you make progress towards your goals, but try not to get too reliant on tracking. It isn’t sustainable forever, and sometimes can lead to obsessive behavior.


Are you going to try the wellness planner out? Have questions? Want to tell me your new goals? Slide into my DMs on the gram or shoot me an email alexandra@shedforthewed.com. XX -AHS

To change your name or not, that is the question.

should you change your name when you get married

You’re getting married! YAY! You now have to make a million decisions in prep for the big day. Band or DJ? Buffet or seated dinner? Cake or doughnuts? Are you going to keep your name or change it?

That last one can be a doozy. An easy question for some, and a more challenging question for others. For me, I fell in the latter group. I’m an over-thinker at heart. :) I tell my story below- but before that- have a read of the list of questions I compiled to help you get clear on what decision is right for you!


Questions for reflection

I believe there is not a right or wrong answer on whether changing your name is a good decision, it’s different for every person. If you are struggling with making the decision here are some questions to help you get clear on your feelings on the matter.

  1. Do you like your current surname?

  2. Do you like your spouse's surname?

  3. Do you like your middle name?

  4. Does your name have meaning to you?

  5. Do you feel your identity is tied to your name?

  6. Does having the same surname as your spouse matter to you?

  7. Does having the same surname as your children (if that is in your plan) matter to you?

  8. Would you be open to hyphenating? Would your spouse?

  9. Would you like your childrens’ surname's to be hyphenated?

  10. Would your spouse be open to taking your name?

  11. Are you open to taking their’s?

  12. What will you accomplish by changing your name?

  13. Do you or your spouse have surnames that are difficult to pronounce? Do you care?

  14. Have you always thought you would take your spouse's name?

  15. Do you feel politically motivated by changing your name or lack thereof?

  16. If you don’t change your name are you ready to be inconvenienced at times because your name differs from the rest of your family?

  17. Imagine how it would feel to have any iteration of names you are considering. What feels right or wrong about them?

Again, there isn’t a right or wrong answer to any of these questions. In the end, it's YOUR name, YOUR life, and you are the one who will live with it. Make sure it's a name that feels like you! 


My story

Changing my name was a tough decision for me: 1) because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to change it and 2) because if I did, I wasn’t sure what to change it to! My name, as it was, was a pretty badass, strong name. I was (and still am) attached to it. Here are some of the reasons I liked it: 

  1. It just has good flow! [Alexandra Marie Hayden - in case you were wondering!]

  2. I'm my dad's only child, so “Hayden” is at the end of the road with me.

  3. Marie was my grandmother's name, and I was very close with her.

On the alternative side of things, I grew up in a household where we all operated with different names. My brother has a different last name than I do. My mom went back to her maiden name professionally after she remarried, and has different names on all of her IDs/ credit cards (side note: I still don't know what her legal name is).  She did this for me, so I wouldn't be the only one in the family with a different name (shouts to my Ma- appreciate ya). But regardless, it was confusing when we traveled, and it was confusing for my friends. They never knew what to call her. It was always nice to be with my dad and stepmom and to just be, "The Haydens." 

Beyond that, the concept of just taking your husband's name is antiquated. It stems from a time when women were treated as property: originally owned by our fathers then ownership transferred to our husbands. And TBH, I'm not into it. While that is not the case today, it still just annoys me that we perpetuate the tradition without question. My name is very much a part of what I consider to be my identity and I did not take the decision of changing it lightly. 

That being said, I love my husband a whole lot, and I wanted to feel apart of his "clan," if you will. For me getting married was not a loss of my current self but gaining a new aspect of my identity as wife, and (hopefully, eventually[!]) as a mother. I also have the coolest in-laws ever (yes, I know I'm very lucky!) and I did not have any pressure to change my name. 

Conor (my hubs lol) and I could've hyphenated our names, but that wasn't something either of us was really into for the whole (future) family. Mostly because I know from my own experience how confusing and annoying long names like that can be for kids (side note: you have no idea, to this day how many people are incapable of saying or spelling my FIRST name correctly). Conor also could have taken my name, but if I didn't want to lose my name for loss of identity, I did not want him to have to do that either. 

I eventually decided I wanted to add "Shea" into the mix. So when it came time to finally make the change, (and yes I actually waited 3 years to do it!), I got to the social security office, and I didn't know how to fill out the form. Would I be Alexandra Marie Shea? Alexandra Hayden Shea? Alexandra Marie Hayden-Shea? 

When my name was called, I had the sweetest Mexican-American (this detail is important for one reason, coming below) woman helping me. She saw the confusion in my eyes, and asked me what I was struggling with, and I told her the story above. She looked at me and she said, "You cannot lose your grandmother's name. And you cannot lose your father's name either. Why not keep them all?" And then I started crying. Yep. I started crying. In the social security office. But I was crying because she was right. It was so obvious, why had I not come to that conclusion on my own? It felt so right. I was not losing any aspect of my identity, I was just adding to it.

I'm so lucky that I was called to her booth, because in Mexican culture (so said the woman), you just add on a name, not replace it. It makes sense because in the villages people would know who your family was on both sides. If she hadn't helped me, I hope I would've come to the same decision, but I don't know if I would have realized it was an option.  

In the end, my name is now Alexandra Marie Hayden Shea, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It is reflective of who I've been and who I choose to be. And at the end of the day it feels like me. Just don’t ask me what my monogram is– I have no idea! What can I say I like to have my cake and eat it too. In the end I’m glad I took my time to figure out what was right for me. I hope sharing my story helps you figure out what is right for you, too! - AHS


Resources

I used this service to help me with to file all of my documents (I left forms blank with what my name would be since I wasn’t sure) but it was very helpful to know where to start.

Miss Now Mrs.


Still struggling? Want to talk about it? Send me a DM on Instagram or Messenger me from Facebook. I’m always happy to go deep with you on these things! <3

Mason Jar Spinach Salad

In honor of back to school, I decided to share a lunch recipe. Gasp, I know. I never share lunch recipes. I'm not exactly sure why, but lunch is not very inspiring to me. I am all about breakfast- it's all about starting the day out strong. You are fueling your body to tackle the day. Or spending a cozy mornings at home with some yummy pancakes. Dinner, you can have a nice long drawn out dinner with loved ones. Your food can set the tone for your evening. But lunch? I struggle to find inspiration here. It's probably just the Americanness in me, but I feel like most people are hard pressed for time and any excuse to be out of the office is a good one. I used to be so annoyed when I brought my lunch to work because it meant I had no reason to go outside for a walk. But that was the wrong attitude- bringing your lunch to work means you can eat and then enjoy the rest of your lunch hour to do what you please. Not to mention, finding #shedapproved lunch options are not always easy to find on your lunch break. 

Whether you are in school or just taking your lunch to work- this salad doesn't disappoint. Just throw the lid on your salad and it's ready to travel with you! No sogginess. And then when it's lunch time, you shake it up, and boom your lunch is ready to go! You can also make these in bulk on a Sunday to be prepared for the whole week- they keep really well because the dressing lives at the bottom! Enjoy! - AHS


mason jar spinach salad shed for the wed recipes shedding for the wedding

Mason Jar Spinach Salad 

Ingredients

  • 1⁄2 tbsp balsamic vinegar

  • 1 tbsp extra virgin olive oil

  • 3 oz cooked chicken breast (or tender) or 1-2 hard-boiled eggs

  • 1⁄2 cup cherry tomatoes, whole

  • 1⁄4 cup cucumber, halved and sliced

  • Salt and pepper

  • Optional: sprinkle unsweetened dried cranberries (treat yo’ self—month 1 only)

  • Optional: sprinkle goat cheese (treat yo’ self—month 1 only)

  • 2 cups spinach

Instructions

Layer ingredients in 32 oz. Mason jar. Start with balsamic vinegar and olive oil. Then layer ingredients as listed. Shake jar before eating.

Note: If you don’t have a Mason jar, never fear! Any Tupperware will do—just separate the dressing in a side container.