Conor and I live in a 2 bedroom condo. We’ve been in a relationship for 12 years and we’ve lived together for about 7 years. We’ve been married for 4. We have accumulated a lot of mess during that time. And mostly its stuff we don’t use or need. We literally still have things from college around our place. I feel like I’m always getting rid of things, but we are always at max capacity–and to be clear, this place really is the perfect size for the two of us. There is no reason for us to live this way.
So one of my goals of this year is to clear the clutter. Get rid of what we don’t need, use, or in the words of the great Marie Kondo, “spark joy”. I received Marie’s book, “The Life-Changing Magic of Tidying Up” as a gift a few years back. I started reading it, and was learning a lot, but stopped because without executing I felt like I wasn’t actually making progress. I ended up converting a few of my drawers to her signature trifold method, but they eventually were messed beyond repair- and TBH, without getting rid of {enough} stuff, it was hard to have space for everything.
This is an example of a the KonMari method trifold FAIL. Note: It is important to know the size of your drawers! Keep scrolling for “after” success pictures.
Fast forward to 2019– I was super sick the first week of the year, and during that time I binged “Tidying Up with Marie Kondo” on Netflix. And I know I am not alone. There are reports of thrift shops being filled to the brim with all the excess goodies inspired by Marie. I caught the bug and began the process. My goal is to complete the KonMari method by the end of Q1, freeing up space in our home, and setting up our good tidying habits for life!
If you are not familiar with Marie and her work, I will give you a summary but first– why should you tidy up before the wedding? You have so much going on in the months pre-wedding, why make time for this now?
Well, first and foremost, you are about to receive SO. MUCH. STUFF. Between bridal showers, bachelorette’s (often with a lingerie shower included), and just your general wedding registry, you are about to own more stuff than you ever have before. Yep. I said it. You are going to have more stuff than you ever have before!!! If you don’t live with your significant other, you are about to merge all of your stuff with another human. Don’t be like me and bring everything. You don’t need it. If you do live with them already, you are going to make room for your new goods! Lastly, having a clear, clutter-free space feels awesome. It helps your mind have space to think. You are approaching a new life phase- head in with a clear head!
The KonMari Method
I am not an expert at tidying. In any way (*cough, pack rat, cough*). So, I am taking my cue from the expert. Marie Kondo’s “KonMari Method” is a 5 step process. Instead of going room by room she goes by category:
Clothes
Books
Paper
Komono (Miscellaneous: includes kitchen items, bath, decor, office, cleaning, etc.)
Sentimental Items
I like this for several reasons- you have to take everything out of its place before you put it back in a more organized fashion. It forces you to deal with things that haven’t been dealt with in eons. I also like that you do sentimental items last. Like most things, tidying up is a muscle and you are building strength by going through the process. By the time you get to the tough stuff, you have built up the muscle. This is also why it’s important to do all categories within a relatively quick period. Otherwise you lose the strength!
This is my before picture. Does it give you anxiety?? It sure made me feel horrible. These are just my clothes- my husband’s are not included.
I am on the clothes section right now. I have done my tees, sweaters, pants, dresses, shorts, scarves, and bathing suits. I haven’t finished shoes, underwear, socks, jewelry, coats, belts, handbags, or hats. What I struggle with the most with getting rid of things is the nostalgia of it. Sometimes an old teeshirt will remind me of the best times in college or those were the jeans I bought when I studied in Italy. Marie encourages you to thank every item you give away. A lot of people laugh at this step, but it has been such a gift for me! I can say thank you and honor our time together- it helps me get through my sentimentality.
Another one of her criteria for all possessions is that they should “spark joy” for you. It is also really helpful when evaluating. That being said, there hits a point where you know (for example) your kitchen knife doesn’t spark joy, but you use it everyday. So then the question to ask is “do you want to bring it into your future?” - a great question for all brides-to-be!!
This is just the beginning of my process and I am perpetually reminding myself that perfection is not necessary. I’m also hoping that this process will help break some of my sentimentality around objects– the less I care about them, the happier I will be! I’m really looking forward to getting to the Paper step (omg this is the worst for me) and kitchen! I cannot wait to get rid of a million excess water bottles and organize my drawers. 😂😂
In summary, tidying up as you embark on your next phase in life will put you in an awesome position to start your marriage! What’s better than starting your journey will a fresh slate and a beautiful tidy home?!
If you are inspired to get started, I highly recommend you watch a couple episodes of Marie’s show on Netflix or buy her book. I will say, the show makes it really seem within reach. If you guys want to hear more about my tidying process, let me know and I’ll continue to post updates.
Happy tidying! -AHS
