Connection in a socially distant world (quarantine special part 1)

I’m not sure who is the originator of this meme, I just saw it circulating the internet, and thought it poignant. If you know the author, send me a note and I will credit!

One of my core desired feelings for 2020 (and for most years, really) is connection. Since I started working from home full-time (going on 3 years ago!), and now staying home with sweet baby James, I have been craving real-life interaction with other humans besides my husband and immediate family. So I am well acquainted with the stir-craziness the rest of the world is now just discovering. Pre-quarantine, I made a conscious effort to plan in-person coffee dates, lunches, and now kiddie-friendly mom and baby activities to alleviate the feeling of isolation. Without an workplace environment, it is a hard feeling to shake.

One of my long-distance besties and I have been debating this concept for a long time–we have increasing access to friends and family wherever they are located, but sometimes it seems like we are as disconnected as ever. We are “connected” through social media platforms, but do we really engage with our humans? Or do we just scroll and drop a “like” here and there? Sometimes I feel like I know what’s going on with friends and family because I’ve kept up with their posts on social media feeds, but we all know that is a poor gauge of really knowing what’s going on from behind the scenes. Your feed may be perfectly curated, but that rarely, if ever, shares the full picture. Furthermore, sometimes our devices are actually the cause of feeling disconnected from our loved ones. We are physically there, but our brains are occupato with whatever we are doing on our phones/tablets/or computers (see meme above!).

Cue global pandemic 2020.

With our new found reality, corona virus looming, and most people doing their part to socially distance themselves from their neighbors, we have found ourselves relying on technology to fuel our connection, almost exclusively. Technology is an amazing gift right now. While I do miss in-person interactions, social gatherings, restaurant eating, and the overall hum of city life– I’ve felt more in touch and connected to “my people” as ever.

This pandemic, keeping us housebound, has actually, in a weird way leveled the playing field. You know that one friend who has every day of the week scheduled with dinners and events?Or that friend with 2 small kids always making playdates and carting her kids to sports? Well, everyone’s schedules have now dropped off entirely. There is no social calendar, for work or play. Everyone is desperately seeking out connection in our isolation.

Some of my favorite humans, happy hour-ing. :) Laughter is the best medicine these days.

As humans, we are designed to be social. To interact with one another. And being socially distant is really hard! It is truly a wonder how we have been able to stay connected during this period of self quarantine and stay-in-place orders. I’ve been able to talk with my closest friends across the country, whether it be through FaceTime, Zoom, Marco Polo or just a normal phone call. Virtual happy hours with some of my nearest and dearest have been a highlight of my year so far, quarantine or no! You may have seen I shared on IG that my 88-year-old great aunt, Vita, did a live stream of her cooking a classic Italian supper, braccioli and gravy. What an amazing way to feel close with her from afar!

I think face-to-face interaction is what is really fostering the connection. Posting is great, but actually connecting in live time is so much better. I know I am far from alone in connecting with friends this way, but if you haven’t yet–it’s definitely worth your time!

Here are some ideas to connect during quarantine:

• schedule virtual happy hour/ coffee dates/ general catch ups with a friend (or many!), and actually put it on the calendar. It gives you something to look forward to! No excuses.

• spend your time on social media actually interacting. Don’t just like a photo. Leave a comment, send a message. Get a conversation going.

• Do a Facebook or Instagram live of something you are good at! Live like Aunt Vita! Share your expertise with the world!

• Do a watch party of your favorite show with your friends.

• Join a virtual book club or start one!

• If you are on your own, ask a friend or family member to have dinner over Facetime.

• Play JackBox Games over the tv in live time.

• Actually foster your relationship with the people you are quarantined with (whether it be roommates, spouse, family, etc.) Turn off the tv/ put down the phone. Play games, talk to each other!!

Some other sweet ideas in the new Jack Daniel’s ad below.

How have you found ways to connect during social distancing? Do you feel closer to your fellow humans these days, like me? Remember we are all in this together. Please stay safe, stay home, and if you do venture out–keep 6 feet apart from others! It’s all of our responsibility to prevent this virus from spreading! Cheers from afar! -AHS

Setting Intentions for 2019

Note: I laid out my entire goal-setting method (which I’m obsessed with) here, so if you want to read all about that, that post is for you! This post will cover the changes I made to this years process and my personal journey with setting my new year intentions.

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This January, my goals have not been as free flowing as in the past. Normally, post-Christmas, I know exactly what I want to work on in the upcoming year. And while I definitely have this drive in many areas of my life right now, this upcoming year is going to look different than years past (more on this in posts to come), and I’m not going to lie- it has thrown me! I feel a bit less in control of my life and thus, are having a harder time really connecting with my goals. Especially the SMART (specific, measurable, attainable, realistic, and timely) aspects of them.

For that reason, I have decided to focus on my core desired feelings for the year, and to set my intentions, but without using monthly SMART goals. (Again, if you need a debriefing of these terms, read my original goal setting post!) As time goes on, I may choose to set monthly SMART goals, but right now, I’m keeping it loose. Typically, I would not encourage this in clients of mine. You need to get very clear on what you want in order to achieve it! But you also need to know yourself, and right now, that feels a bit counter intuitive to my own nature. And as you will soon see, one of my words is grace, and that is what I am giving myself!

The two words that have come through the most strongly for me this year are Connection and Flow. This is not the first time these words have come to me. I believe that these words, at the end of the day, are apart of my soul’s mission. I need to have meaningful connection with others first and foremost. And re: flow, I need to go with the natural rhythms of life, and not work against them. And bonus points because it also ties in with my yoga practice! My other core desired feelings for this year are: joy, grace, and prosperous. The key with Core Desired Feelings is that you should want to feel them inside your core. Sit with them.

These words are more higher arching ideals, and normally I have a tangible work word(s) like “focus” or “discipline” like last year! But those feel off to me this year so I think this is a year to enjoy the ride!

So to summarize, my core desired feelings for the year are:

1. Connection

2. Flow

3. Joy

4. Grace

5. Prosperous

Next I’ve set intentions for the following pillars of my life: health, career, family, home, community, spirituality, and travel. I won’t lay them all out for you here but I will share a couple examples.

In the home area of my life, I have decided to Konmari method our condo in the first quarter of the year. (Yes, I binged Marie Kondo’s Netflix show when I was sick the first week of the year!) Both my husband and I tend to keep things longer than we should, and sometimes it feels like we are busting at the seams. Her whole essence behind tidying up is that your possessions should “spark joy”- and that ties directly with one of my core desired feelings for the year, so I am fired up about this!

In the spirituality area of my life my intention is a bit more vague. My intention I set for this year is to make meditation and prayer a priority. I could make it more tangible like, meditate 5x/week for 15 minutes or go to church every Sunday- but I’m allowing for grace with this intention (and with all of them!). It may not seem like this is a very exciting goal- but I can tell you, I can feel the difference in my life when I do not make meditation and prayer a priority- and it’s not pretty.

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Overall, my net takeaway is be in tune with yourself and where you are at. Feel free to adjust your sails accordingly as time goes on. And remember that new intentions should light you up and feel excited! I wanted to share my own personal experience with you, because I think it’s important to trust in yourself first and foremost. There are a million people out there telling you what to do and how you should do it to see the best results- but at the end of the day- you know you better than anyone else. Go deep within yourself, you know what you need. And at the end of the day, give yourself some grace with the process and enjoy the journey!

What are your intentions for 2019? Leave me a note and tell me about them! Holler if you want me to check in on you (for free!) to see how they are coming! Xo, AHS

The Glow Up

Hello beauties! First and foremost: this is your reminder that you are amazing and perfect just as you are. Right this very second! Are you feeling your fabulous selves today? Do a lil shimmy! Okay, now we’re ready!

I created Shed for the Wed because I wanted to help brides feel good! Planning a wedding whether for 500 people or just an intimate occasion with just your nearest and dearest can be stressful. It can bring up a lot of different emotions and can be downright exhausting! I want you to feel* full of life, love, and energy during your engagement. And I want to help you glow on the big day. There are many ways to accomplish this task, but the foundations of achieving this are the 3 Ss: Sustenance, Sweat, and Spirit. These are the basics that I want you to make sure you prioritizing in your pre-wedding routine. I will dive into each of the three Ss more in later posts- but I wanted to lay the foundation for the wedding glow up!

Sustenance

It is so, so critical to fuel your body with foods that provide nutritional value. Make sure you are “eating the rainbow” and getting your vitamins and minerals through whole food sources that are accessible for your body to process. Eating this way (and eliminating foods that may hinder it) give you ample energy and make your skin glow from the inside out.

Beyond that, have you ever noticed when you haven’t been eating healthy foods and perhaps have been drinking too much alcohol, you tend to feel more anxious or sad? This is not unusual, but you may not have made the correlation before. Healthy foods and water galore help not just your glow, but your mind too! All of this was taken into consideration when creating the Shed for the Wed Nutrition Programs! You can have piece of mind that you are fueling you glow and not adding to your pre-wedding nerves!

Sweat

Getting your sweat on is the most obvious place people start when #sheddingforthewedding - which is actually why I don’t focus on it that much. I’m sure you already know there are serious benefits to exercise. Ranging from good heart health, increased bone density, all the way to relief from depression and anxiety– it really is fantastic. I find that when I have a good sweat routine, I know I’m taking care of my body, and I automatically just feel better about myself. When you build physical strength, you also build mental strength. I include it in the glow up list mostly because it’s an awesome way to boost your confidence. Just don’t overdo it- if you focus too much on sweating for the wedding, it can actually end up doing more harm then good.

Spirit

Spirit is the hardest to define, because we are have different essences to our beings and our souls and what satisfies my spirit may be very different to yours. But it is maybe the most important part of the glow up. You should be LIT about your life. I blather on about “self-care” quite a bit. But really any of the things on the following list could fall into that category. Do things that you love every single day.

Here are some ideas to help you get started:

Connection

• Going on date night with your boo (*ahem* I mean almost spouse)

• Belly laughs with friends

• Spending time with loved ones

• Volunteering

• Cooking for loved ones

Nature

• Swimming in the sea

• Sunshine

• Hiking (also counts as sweating!)

• Gardening

Mindset

• Gratitude journaling

• Meditating

• Taking alone time

• Crushing your goals

• Reading self improvement books

Spirituality

• Praying

• Going to church (or temple, mosque, whatever your affiliation)

• Meditating (again)

Creativity

• Making music

• Writing

• Painting

• Drawing

• Blogging

• Cooking

Other

• Traveling

• Participating in activism

• Snuggle time with a pet

• Taking a social media hiatus

• Whatever you consider fun!

My spirit is flying high on this one! Hiking, sunshine, nature, travel, all with my favorite person- doesn’t get much better than that! <3

The 3 Ss are the perfect trifecta to maximize your glow up for the big day. Which one are you going to begin to focus on first? Leave me a note in the comments or on Instagram or FB!

Happy glowing!

-AHS

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*It’s okay to feel any emotion during this time, but I’m assuming you want to feel your best, thus I want to help you get there! Have a read of this post if you are feeling less than stellar mentally during your engagement.