Gratitude Begets Gratitude... the November Gratitude Challenge is back!

Ah it’s that time of year. The weather is getting colder and darker. Many of us in the Midwest begin to get SAD, Seasonal Affective Disorder (also this is your PSA- it’s time to add Vitamin D supplements into your routine. It helps! I promise!)!

To combat the gloom, last year, I created the Shed Gratitude Challenge for the month of November. And we are doing it again this year! This is such a great time to be mindful of all that we have to be thankful for. And honestly it’s probably the easiest way to get #zenforthewed. A truly grateful heart is the best peace you can find.

To quote myself from last year’s post:

“You have to actively choose gratitude. Gratitude is a practice, and an important one at that.  Just like hopping on your yoga mat, or sitting down to meditate, you have to bring focus and presence to your practice. But why should we practice gratitude? Being aware of all the good in your life helps to cultivate a mindset of abundance and helps to keep hardships and daily struggles in perspective.”

I’ll take it one step further to say, it can help shift our mindset to find our challenges as gifts. It is also a great way to show some #selflove too! Anyways, I’m clearly into it. I hope you are too! Now let’s give some thanks, together!

How to participate

1. Every day, write down three things you are grateful for. It doesn't have to fit a particular theme. It can be anything you are grateful for, just make it specific! Try to make them different every day. I recommend a journal or planner if you are a paper person, but it’s not necessary.

2. Share it! Because #gratitudebegetsgratitude! I would love to hear all that you are grateful for! I’ve created a template for Instagram stories you can use to share, or you can post on your feed. Whatever feels right to you. If you don’t want to share it that’s okay too–but it’s nice to have community. :)

3. That’s it! What’s holding you back?

The challenge goes until Thanksgiving, and I hope you will continue the practice after too! Tag your posts with #shedgratitudechallenge for a chance to be regrammed/shared.

Follow along with me @shed.for.the.wed on Instagram to keep up with my gratitudes! I'll be posting to my feed and stories daily! 

Download the graphic below to start sharing to your stories:

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In other news: the Shed Weekly Digest will be coming out this week! Every week I’m sharing a day’s worth of #shedapproved recipes! And when you sign up you get my food and wellness journal for free! Woohoo! Add it to your list of daily gratitudes! ;) You can sign up below!

Happy November, loves! Very grateful for all of you! -AHS

The Glow Up

Hello beauties! First and foremost: this is your reminder that you are amazing and perfect just as you are. Right this very second! Are you feeling your fabulous selves today? Do a lil shimmy! Okay, now we’re ready!

I created Shed for the Wed because I wanted to help brides feel good! Planning a wedding whether for 500 people or just an intimate occasion with just your nearest and dearest can be stressful. It can bring up a lot of different emotions and can be downright exhausting! I want you to feel* full of life, love, and energy during your engagement. And I want to help you glow on the big day. There are many ways to accomplish this task, but the foundations of achieving this are the 3 Ss: Sustenance, Sweat, and Spirit. These are the basics that I want you to make sure you prioritizing in your pre-wedding routine. I will dive into each of the three Ss more in later posts- but I wanted to lay the foundation for the wedding glow up!

Sustenance

It is so, so critical to fuel your body with foods that provide nutritional value. Make sure you are “eating the rainbow” and getting your vitamins and minerals through whole food sources that are accessible for your body to process. Eating this way (and eliminating foods that may hinder it) give you ample energy and make your skin glow from the inside out.

Beyond that, have you ever noticed when you haven’t been eating healthy foods and perhaps have been drinking too much alcohol, you tend to feel more anxious or sad? This is not unusual, but you may not have made the correlation before. Healthy foods and water galore help not just your glow, but your mind too! All of this was taken into consideration when creating the Shed for the Wed Nutrition Programs! You can have piece of mind that you are fueling you glow and not adding to your pre-wedding nerves!

Sweat

Getting your sweat on is the most obvious place people start when #sheddingforthewedding - which is actually why I don’t focus on it that much. I’m sure you already know there are serious benefits to exercise. Ranging from good heart health, increased bone density, all the way to relief from depression and anxiety– it really is fantastic. I find that when I have a good sweat routine, I know I’m taking care of my body, and I automatically just feel better about myself. When you build physical strength, you also build mental strength. I include it in the glow up list mostly because it’s an awesome way to boost your confidence. Just don’t overdo it- if you focus too much on sweating for the wedding, it can actually end up doing more harm then good.

Spirit

Spirit is the hardest to define, because we are have different essences to our beings and our souls and what satisfies my spirit may be very different to yours. But it is maybe the most important part of the glow up. You should be LIT about your life. I blather on about “self-care” quite a bit. But really any of the things on the following list could fall into that category. Do things that you love every single day.

Here are some ideas to help you get started:

Connection

• Going on date night with your boo (*ahem* I mean almost spouse)

• Belly laughs with friends

• Spending time with loved ones

• Volunteering

• Cooking for loved ones

Nature

• Swimming in the sea

• Sunshine

• Hiking (also counts as sweating!)

• Gardening

Mindset

• Gratitude journaling

• Meditating

• Taking alone time

• Crushing your goals

• Reading self improvement books

Spirituality

• Praying

• Going to church (or temple, mosque, whatever your affiliation)

• Meditating (again)

Creativity

• Making music

• Writing

• Painting

• Drawing

• Blogging

• Cooking

Other

• Traveling

• Participating in activism

• Snuggle time with a pet

• Taking a social media hiatus

• Whatever you consider fun!

My spirit is flying high on this one! Hiking, sunshine, nature, travel, all with my favorite person- doesn’t get much better than that! <3

The 3 Ss are the perfect trifecta to maximize your glow up for the big day. Which one are you going to begin to focus on first? Leave me a note in the comments or on Instagram or FB!

Happy glowing!

-AHS

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*It’s okay to feel any emotion during this time, but I’m assuming you want to feel your best, thus I want to help you get there! Have a read of this post if you are feeling less than stellar mentally during your engagement.

Wedded Wellness

So you did it! You tied the knot! You’re back from the honeymoon. Now what? Time to settle into your “new” life as a wifey!  The wedding itself may be over (and it was absolutely the #bestdayever!) and it can be sad! You spent months (sometimes years!) planning your day. You had all of your favorite people in one place. You married the love of your life! It can feel sad that it’s over. But the good news is that you have so much to be excited about! You are entering the next phase of your life. And it’s going to be AHmazing. Beat the wedding blues by focusing on getting your new married life set up for success! I’ve compiled some of the best tips to help you get started!

Change things up

If you lived together before you were married- a good way to make it feel different (because it absolutely IS different) is to rearrange your furniture. If you can do this in your bedroom - fantastic! You want to start creating memories that feel different than before you were married. It helps signify that things are different now! It should feel awesome! 

If you didn’t live together before you were married- you are going to have so many new things in your life! Either a new home or a serious change up to your previous space. New routine. New set up. Not to mention all of the new tools in the kitchen! Things absolutely are going to feel different! Which leads to the next section…

Healthy habits start here

Try to get into a good ritual with your spouse. Try to eat dinner, phones away, no TV, etc. Go for a walk together after work. Make smoothies for two in the morning! Maybe you already do all of these things- but it’s important to get these habits ingrained quickly into your routine. It’s really easy to get into a takeout and Netflix routine. Try to connect every day and keep up your healthy habits from #sheddingforthewedding! 

Get your thank you notes finished ASAP

Thank you notes–they will hang over every moment of spare time until they are completed. Finish them. Quickly. No I’m serious, stop reading this article and go do them. JK, don’t. But really the sooner you get them done, the happier you will be. Related to this, do not send out a mass thank you note. They should all be personal. People don’t understand if you received the gift they sent if you don’t. Besides that- its just polite manners. 

Schedule you time

You may want to spend all of your time with your new hubz/wifey! Who can blame you?! But it’s really important to spend good quality time with yourself. Read a new book. Go for a run. Meditate. Alone time is super good for you. 

Be good to your friends

Now is the time to love up on your friends (away from your boo!)! Your #bridetribe just spent your entire engagement “season” loving up on you! Schedule some exclusive girl time to return the love and spend time knowing what is going on in their world. 

If babes are in the near future…

Start taking a prenatal vitamin! I’m not a huge fan of vitamins (most of the time you are just peeing them out!) - but taking a prenatal vitamin is super important! It can prevent preterm births. AND the CDC recommends anyone within child bearing years take a supplement with 400 micrograms of folic acid daily - so if you are even vaguely thinking about adding a kiddo into your world- now is the time to start taking one. 

Schedule your date nights

Pull out that planner and actually schedule actual date nights out right now. It’s so easy to stay in and hibernate together (WINTER IS COMING) - but you are young, and fun, and doing new things together keeps things fresh! 

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What was your fave idea? How do you plan on spending your time now that wedding planning isn’t taking all of your time? Let me know on Instagram or Facebook! -AHS

To change your name or not, that is the question.

You’re getting married! YAY! You now have to make a million decisions in prep for the big day. Band or DJ? Buffet or seated dinner? Cake or doughnuts? Are you going to keep your name or change it?

That last one can be a doozy. An easy question for some, and a more challenging question for others. For me, I fell in the latter group. I’m an over-thinker at heart. :) I tell my story below- but before that- have a read of the list of questions I compiled to help you get clear on what decision is right for you!

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Questions for reflection

I believe there is not a right or wrong answer on whether changing your name is a good decision, it’s different for every person. If you are struggling with making the decision here are some questions to help you get clear on your feelings on the matter.

1. Do you like your current surname?

2. Do you like your spouse's surname?

3. Do you like your middle name?

4. Does your name have meaning to you?

5. Do you feel your identity is tied to your name?

6. Does having the same surname as your spouse matter to you?

7. Does having the same surname as your children (if that is in your plan) matter to you?

8. Would you be open to hyphenating? Would your spouse?

9. Would you like your childrens’ surname's to be hyphenated?

10. Would your spouse be open to taking your name?

11. Are you open to taking their’s?

12. What will you accomplish by changing your name?

13. Do you or your spouse have surnames that are difficult to pronounce? Do you care?

14. Have you always thought you would take your spouse's name?

15. Do you feel politically motivated by changing your name or lack thereof?

16. If you don’t change your name are you ready to be inconvenienced at times because your name differs from the rest of your family?

17. Imagine how it would feel to have any iteration of names you are considering. What feels right or wrong about them?

Again, there isn’t a right or wrong answer to any of these questions. In the end, it's YOUR name, YOUR life, and you are the one who will live with it. Make sure it's a name that feels like you! 

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My story

Changing my name was a tough decision for me: 1) because I wasn’t sure if I wanted to change it and 2) because if I did, I wasn’t sure what to change it to! My name, as it was, was a pretty badass, strong name. I was (and still am) attached to it. Here are some of the reasons I liked it: 

1. It just has good flow! [Alexandra Marie Hayden - in case you were wondering!]

2. I'm my dad's only child, so “Hayden” is at the end of the road with me.

3. Marie was my grandmother's name, and I was very close with her.

On the alternative side of things, I grew up in a household where we all operated with different names. My brother has a different last name than I do. My mom went back to her maiden name professionally after she remarried, and has different names on all of her IDs/ credit cards (side note: I still don't know what her legal name is).  She did this for me, so I wouldn't be the only one in the family with a different name (shouts to my Ma- appreciate ya). But regardless, it was confusing when we traveled, and it was confusing for my friends. They never knew what to call her. It was always nice to be with my dad and stepmom and to just be, "The Haydens." 

Beyond that, the concept of just taking your husband's name is antiquated. It stems from a time when women were treated as property: originally owned by our fathers then ownership transferred to our husbands. And TBH, I'm not into it. While that is not the case today, it still just annoys me that we perpetuate the tradition without question. My name is very much a part of what I consider to be my identity and I did not take the decision of changing it lightly. 

That being said, I love my husband a whole lot, and I wanted to feel apart of his "clan," if you will. For me getting married was not a loss of my current self but gaining a new aspect of my identity as wife, and (hopefully, eventually[!]) as a mother. I also have the coolest in-laws ever (yes, I know I'm very lucky!) and I did not have any pressure to change my name. 

Conor (my hubs lol) and I could've hyphenated our names, but that wasn't something either of us was really into for the whole (future) family. Mostly because I know from my own experience how confusing and annoying long names like that can be for kids (side note: you have no idea, to this day how many people are incapable of saying or spelling my FIRST name correctly). Conor also could have taken my name, but if I didn't want to lose my name for loss of identity, I did not want him to have to do that either. 

I eventually decided I wanted to add "Shea" into the mix. So when it came time to finally make the change, (and yes I actually waited 3 years to do it!), I got to the social security office, and I didn't know how to fill out the form. Would I be Alexandra Marie Shea? Alexandra Hayden Shea? Alexandra Marie Hayden-Shea? 

When my name was called, I had the sweetest Mexican-American (this detail is important for one reason, coming below) woman helping me. She saw the confusion in my eyes, and asked me what I was struggling with, and I told her the story above. She looked at me and she said, "You cannot lose your grandmother's name. And you cannot lose your father's name either. Why not keep them all?" And then I started crying. Yep. I started crying. In the social security office. But I was crying because she was right. It was so obvious, why had I not come to that conclusion on my own? It felt so right. I was not losing any aspect of my identity, I was just adding to it.

I'm so lucky that I was called to her booth, because in Mexican culture (so said the woman), you just add on a name, not replace it. It makes sense because in the villages people would know who your family was on both sides. If she hadn't helped me, I hope I would've come to the same decision, but I don't know if I would have realized it was an option.  

In the end, my name is now Alexandra Marie Hayden Shea, and I wouldn't have it any other way. It is reflective of who I've been and who I choose to be. And at the end of the day it feels like me. Just don’t ask me what my monogram is– I have no idea! What can I say I like to have my cake and eat it too. In the end I’m glad I took my time to figure out what was right for me. I hope sharing my story helps you figure out what is right for you, too! - AHS

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Resources

I used this service to help me with to file all of my documents (I left forms blank with what my name would be since I wasn’t sure) but it was very helpful to know where to start.

Miss Now Mrs.

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Still struggling? Want to talk about it? Send me a DM on Instagram or Messenger me from Facebook. I’m always happy to go deep with you on these things! <3

It's okay to not feel amazing when you get engaged

I have something to talk about that is not often discussed in the wedding industry. In fact, it's very rare to read or hear about it at all. I'm bringing it up, because I think it is important for brides to be to hear and I want to be a voice to help you stay grounded during your engagement. You ready?

It's okay to not feel absolutely wonderful every day of your engagement. In fact, it's even okay to feel sad! 

I've talked to enough women to know that while we want our engagement periods to be one of sheer bliss - there are moments that are harder to deal with. And I'm not just talking about wedding planning stress, although that doesn't make it any easier!

I think there is this stigma about talking about other emotions when you are getting married. Like somehow if you are not swooning with affection for your fiancé/e every day, you love them less, or even worse, that you shouldn't be getting married.

I need to debunk this. There are so so so many reasons that you could be feeling anything but happy during your wedding "season". 

You could feel sad about not being your parents little girl any longer. You could feel weird because everyone says "you just know" and you didn't know. Or maybe your nervous because your parents were divorced and you know you don't want that fate for yourself. Or maybe you are overwhelmed because there are a lot of life changes happening at once. Maybe you're sad about the loss of your single life. Maybe you're sad about having to split holidays. Maybe you're sad that your life as you knew it is changing forever. Maybe it's that you have been dreaming of your wedding your whole life and you aren't ready for the dream to be over. Maybe it's every one of those things or none of them. 

It is possible to feel joy, love, and excitement–and also sadness, loss, and anxiety during your engagement.

Getting married is one of the biggest life events you will experience. Sometimes it's a huge adjustment, sometimes it's just a formality. What I want you to walk away with, is that it is okay to feel any of these emotions during this time. Make space for yourself to process your emotions. Feel how you feel, and don't be ashamed or scared about feeling more than just joy during this time in your life.

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Have you felt like this at all during your engagement? If you feel this way it can be incredibly isolating. I know this is a sensitive topic, but I want you to know I am here for you if you need to talk about this with someone. If you want to talk about it, please, send me a message on social media or drop me an email in the form below and I will get back to you shortly. This is not an email sign up, just an opportunity to chat with an unbiased party. :)

If talking isn't up your alley. Be sure to check out some of the other posts to help keep you "Zen for the Wed." Xx - AHS

The #1 tool to keep you Zen for the Wed: Meditation

You don't even need to be on the edge of a cliff looking at mountains to meditate! You can do it from home!

I had this realization lately that I keep bringing up meditation as a solution to every problem I encounter. Talking to friends and clients alike, my recos are always including adding mediation to their routine. I was becoming an obsessed, broken record. But why?

I typically wouldn't refer to myself as a particularly grounded person. I'm one of those people who is always spinning in circles doing THE most. And like most people these days, when I do have down time, I get lost in the mindlessness of the never-ending scroll on social media. 

When I was forced to take my 10-15 minute occasional meditation practice to 30 minutes daily during my yoga teacher training, it really had an impact on my life. It changed the way I process small and large interactions in my life (not to mention time management skills!). When you are planning a wedding, life can be absolutely chaotic. It is a time you should cherish, and sometimes you just want it to be over. Meditation is an amazing tool to have in your stress management toolkit to keep you #zenforthewed! In this post I'll share the benefits I've seen in myself as well as some instructions on how to get started for yourself!

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Benefits I've seen

1. I have control freak tendencies (and I'm also surrounded control freaks- love you all!), and we live in a world where we actually have very little control. That is not to say that we are not in charge of our own fates, but we cannot live our lives in fear of what could happen. Meditation has honestly helped me to accept things that are out of my control. I know to focus on the things in my power to change and don't sweat the rest. This is maybe the number one benefit whilst wedding planning, IMO!!

2. It helps me to process my emotions. One of the hardest things during my meditation is to let really painful emotions come up and to not suppress them. But by just sitting with the emotions, most times I just sit there, feel them fully, and quite often they pass. If for instance I am really nervous about something I have to do, the emotion will come back, but in a more manageable way. (Side note: getting married can bring up so many emotions, its okay to not feel absolutely ecstatic every day you are engaged. Feel the emotions, sit with them, and it will help you feel great in the long run!)

3. There is no outright goal for meditating, and a "bad session" is just as important to sit through as a "good session". This aspect of meditation has helped me to detach from the outcomes of all my endeavors. I am not my successes or my failures, and it helps me to remind myself of that. And related to that...

4. I used to feel like I needed to have a reason to do something. Sometimes it is okay to do something for no particular reason. It is okay to do things just for the sake of doing. Not everything has to be an achievement. I have been working on a very difficult puzzle for 4 months. I don't have any reason why I am doing the puzzle, and that is okay. It is worthy of my time too.

5. When you meditate (at least in the style I was taught in), you are training your mind to come back to focus on the breath. While often that doesn't happen, if you are reliving your 4th grade trauma for the tenth time and then you remember to come back to the breath–it's still a success. That focus has extended beyond my practice and often helps me with my work! It's amazing when I can focus for any period longer than 5 minutes (YEP - my A.D.D. diagnosis is realllll).

6. Meditation has helped me to become less reactionary. I'm always working to curb my natural lean towards defensiveness, and I've noticed that meditation has helped me to pause before I react. My husband will say something that will trigger me (love you, honey!) and I will actually pause and think before I respond. I will try to see things from his perspective before answering. So I guess I'm saying meditation has made me a better wife?! Just to be clear, I am not a master of this, but I have made a lot of progress in this area.

7. It's crazy to think about how rarely I truly experience the moment I am in. Through my meditation practice, I have become more in tune with myself, and I am able to pull myself out of my technology and day dreams and actually be present in the moment. Life is so precious, I need to try to be there for it!

8. Lastly, I am much more comfortable just being. I can just sit by myself and I don't feel the need to distract myself. It's wild that I didn't feel that way before, but I was always using things to distract me: social media, talking on the phone, Candy Crush, etc. It's like I'm comfortable being truly alone with myself. I notice that if I take a few days off meditating, I come back to the distractions more easily too!

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How to Meditate

Did I sell you on it? Are you ready to try meditating for yourself? My instructions to get started follow: 

1. Get comfortable in a seated upright position. You can be cross legged on a mat or pillow, sitting in a chair, or just sitting on the bed propped up with your legs out.

2. Set a timer on your phone (you can use one of the apps below or just the normal timer). I recommend 10 minutes to start. If that seems like too much, 5 minutes is still beneficial.

3. Close your eyes and focus on your breath. I sometimes like to focus on sounds, but that is challenging if there are none! You can keep your eyes open if you visualize too much with your eyes. I find that too distracting most of the time though.

4. When your mind begins to wander off, bring your concentration back to your breath. You can call yourself out and say "thinking" to help bring your thoughts back to the breath.

5. Don't check your phone to make sure the timer is set. It is. :)

Before you start read this: 

I want to debunk the myth that meditation is peaceful or enjoyable. It can be, but it can also be downright torturous. Sometimes I would come out of my meditation sessions more frustrated than when I started. And that is okay. When you sit with yourself, all of your anxiety and embarrassing moments will come to haunt you. That will help you to return to the breath, but it will bring up lots of feelings. The key thing is to truly feel the emotions and to not push them down. This is also why I don't advocate using guided meditations. While I love Headspace (a guided meditation app), and that's how I got started meditating, I didn't really feel like I was diving deep until I was sitting in silence. 

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Resources: 

An amazing book, "How to Meditate" by Pema Chodron, is a great resource to help you get started. 

Apps: 

Headspace - this man's voice is truly the most soothing sound in the world. Guided meditation is a great place to ease you into meditating. 

Stop, Breathe, and Think - Has a great timer function as well guided functionality. I like the stickers it gives as achievements. 

Insight Timer - A huge variety of meditations available on this app. In addition to it's timer, it's great if you want to explore the vast realm of guided meditation.

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Are you ready to try meditating? Or is it already in your routine? Let me know what you think of this self care tool! -AHS

Morning Rituals And Why You Should Have One (Especially When You Are Planning A Wedding!)

I'm obsessed with having a morning ritual. Ever since I heard Tim Ferriss talk about them on his podcast I have been intrigued with getting mine right. It's a super important part of my day as an entrepreneur who works from home. It helps get my head right and start the day on the right foot. However, the more chaotic your life is, the more you could benefit from a strong morning ritual.  If you start your day off rushing through your shower and running to catch the train- you may need a morning ritual even more! When you are planning a wedding you essentially have taken on a second job. Having a morning ritual adds a bit of peace to your day - it's a win from the very first moments of the day. I think we all need that!

There are so many benefits to having a morning ritual, but of course it varies depending on what you include in it. What I love about my morning ritual is that I know I'm starting my day off doing something to take care of myself before the madness begins!

It is always a work in progress and it has evolved over time. I'm going to give you a couple examples so you can craft your own perf version! One that I used for a while is referred to as the "Miracle 6". It takes 6 minutes of your morning.

• 1 minute of silence.
• 1 minute of affirmations. 
• 1 minute of visualizations
• 1 minute of scribing (journaling)
• 1 minute reading
• 1 minute of exercise 

To break it down: 

The minute of silence is without your phone, eyes open or closed, just sitting for a moment int peace.

The affirmations are just a list of positive things to remind yourself of daily. They help keep your mind positive. Example of one: "Today I am surrounded by love and abundance in my life." I think about what I am struggling with overcoming mentally and then write some out, or google positive affirmations until I find what I need. :)  

The visualization is a form of goal setting, and it may take some time to write before your review it daily. You want to think about what you are hoping to achieve in your life. It could be long term or just a few months away. Think about what you are hoping to see in your life and write it down. Get as descriptive as possible, so when you read it, it evokes emotion and gets you excited! You should really see the vision clearly. 

Scribing is essentially journaling. There are many forms you could do. Some people do morning pages - a practice where you practice writing 3 pages of long form stream of conscious journaling (I tried it, it wasn't my cup of tea - but many, many people swear by it!). It also is hard to do in one minute. I preferred gratitude journalling, where I write 3 unique things I'm thankful for each day. 

I read this when I was practicing the Miracle 6 morning ritual- it was perfect in small snippets. 

Reading- pretty self explanatory. If you are doing the Miracle 6 I think it's best to read something with small insights, like my favorite, Tao Te Ching. Or a personal development book (see right) where you can get something out of just reading a page or two. 

Exercise- again this is just one minute, so something like jumping jacks, crunches or push ups are good to get the blood flowing! Or you could take the yoga approach and do a sun salutation or two!

There were aspects of this routine I really liked, and it worked for me for awhile. But as I evolved, so did the ritual. When I added true meditation into my routine (not just a minute of silence), it changed the dynamic of the morning. I found it really hard to just read for one minute, and it kinda felt cruel to stop at one minute. Then I would read more, and then the routine would last much longer. I've taken some things I really liked from that ritual and incorporated it into my current routine. 

I've included my morning ritual is below. It is not my every day- right now I am at about 3 days/week. And sometimes I don't do all of the components, but if I get one of them done, it is an accomplishment!  

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My morning ritual

• I go downstairs and start the coffee. If I'm feeling really on it, I will use the frother and make a superfood latte (I froth almond milk, cacao powder, and brain octane oil). 
• I then write in my gratitude journal. I write three things that I am grateful for.
• Sometimes I will do a visualization and/or affirmations.
• I pray for a few minutes. 
• I meditate for 20-30 minutes. 
• Then I get up, get dressed, and make my bed.
• Boom! Ready to start the day!

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a simple day with my gratitude journal and coffee. 

This process takes me about 60 - 75 minutes when I do all of the components. Sometimes a little more, sometimes a little less. 

If you have been following along, you probably understand how important coffee is to me. The smell tells me its time to start the day. When I have the superfood latte, I'm starting my day with nutrients that are fueling my body. Just one small step to start the day right. 

I love my gratitude journal because it really helps me cultivate an abundance mindset. I have so much to be grateful for every day.

Praying helps me focus on what truly matters and gives me perspective.  

Meditation deserves its own post. It helps me focus on the present moment. It helps me to be still in my world that is moving so fast. It helps me to just be. I will do a follow up post on meditation soon. 

I used to not make my bed. But now, I realize that making the bed (and keeping my space clean) helps my mind focused and clear. Besides that, it starts my day with accomplishing a task. There are so many things are out of my control, this is one small thing that is definitely within my domain. 

So in sum, having a morning ritual helps me to start the day: 

• with good nutrition
• in a positive mindset
• at peace with what I can and cannot do
• goal oriented
• and accomplished

Pretty powerful stuff, right? All of those things are pretty critical during wedding planning! I encourage you to start your own morning ritual! The "miracle 6" is a great place to start.

Do you have a morning ritual already? I would love to hear about how you start your day! Leave me a comment below or on social! If you haven't seen I finally launched the Shed FB page. Go on and give it a like for me! xx, AHS

Put a little (self) love in your heart...

When I look at the pose above, I first think to myself, "Woof, those calves. And I have a long way to go to make this pose look good!" It takes me a moment to reset and appreciate how far I've come and appreciate that tan instead!

When you look in the mirror what do you see? Sometimes I see circles under my eyes. Sometimes I see bloat from last night's pizza (yep- I eat pizza!). Sometimes I see a whole lotta thigh. Rarely when I look in the mirror am I like, "damn that's a fine looking lady in there!" But why don't I? I suspect I am not alone in this. 

There are probably a lot of contributing factors, and I do not want to diminish them - but I will focus on two reasons for the purpose of today's note. The first is comparison. A natural human tendency that has been magnified by the omnipresence of social media. We spend our days longing for what other people have- their banging bodies, their DREAM weddings, their perfect husbands, adorable babies, charming houses, fancy cars, and exotic honeymoons. We spend a huge bulk of time assessing other people's lot in life and comparing ours to theirs. This isn't to say that we dwell on it or it takes over how we live our lives (sometimes yes, sometimes no) but regardless it happens on the daily. Sometimes we know we are doing it, other times it is operating in the background - but still happening. 

The second reason is judgement. Comparison feeds judgement. Example, so-and-so buys a beautiful new home – "But who would want to live there? It's the middle of nowhere!" Someone posts a selfie - it's attention seeking and/or desperate. Someone cuts you off on the highway - they are an a**hole. Immediately we affirm our own choices and lifestyle, building our own ego at the sacrifice of tearing down someone else. We judge other people and ourselves ALL of the time for EVERYTHING. And that includes what we see when we look in the mirror. 

And it's exhausting. 

And it doesn't serve us.

And in fact, it has a negative effect on the way we view ourselves and others. We need to knock it off. 

Less judgement, and more love. 

We need to love ourselves. Seriously, love every part of ourselves. We need to cut out the negative self talk. We are KWEENS ladies! And stunning rays of light filled with love. We are pure magic. When we acknowledge this, it helps us to see that in everyone else. 

Today is #internationalyogaday, and with it, comes a challenge. Love yourself and then love others. That's our mission. But how to shift our mindsets? It's a big task, so let's break it down.  

Step 1. Acknowledgement

Sit with a journal and a cup of (insert beverage of choice) and do some self reflection. When do you tend to compare yourself to others? Is it comparing that bling on your finger to your friend's? Does it happen when you look in the mirror and you think about the Instagram model you follow? When do you tend to judge? Does it manifest in road rage? Again, is it social media? Your favorite Bravo TV stars? 

Just take the time to think about how comparing and judging show up in your life. If after reflection you truly do not compare or judge, please teach a class and invite me! 

 

Step 2. Forgiveness

The next step is to forgive yourself and forgive others for being this way. We have to absolve ourselves from this. These habits are ingrained from childhood and perpetuated by the culture we live in. Let's not beat ourselves up over being judgmental. That defeats the purpose of this whole exercise. 

 

Step 3: Radical acts of self care

How did we get to self care? Well, what is at the heart of comparison? I believe it's our own feelings of inadequacy. Showing yourself some care is the foundation of self love. Do something for yourself every day. Take time for yourself. Whatever that means for you. By caring for ourselves, we nurture self love. It helps us to live more comfortably in our own skin- which helps us to love others better, too.

Self care is not selfish.

I repeat, SELF CARE IS NOT SELFISH. When you are feeling drained and out of gas - it is really easy to get into negative self talk patterns. Beyond that, it also hinders our ability to serve others. So take the time to refuel. It is so important for your mental and physical health. Don't know where to start? Take a break from wedding planning and try some of the suggestions below:

• Spend quality time with loved ones.

• Buy a coffee for a homeless person.

• Take a bath.

• Laugh. Really hard.

• Watch trashy tv, or whatever gives you joy.

• Bask in the sun.

• Dance by yourself.

• Get a mani/pedi.

• Do nothing - guilt free.

• Do something you have wanted to do for a long time, but never had the time.

• Go for a walk in nature.

• Read a book.

• Take a nap.

• Exercise (in a way that sparks joy!).

• Call a friend.

• Look in the mirror and tell yourself that you are beautiful.

• Meditate.

• Take a social media/technology hiatus.

• Eat a hearty nutritious meal.

• Eat whatever you want, and without judgement

 

Step 4: Judgement Detox

Now that we have acknowledged our habits, forgiven ourselves for them, and have built up our self love... it's now time to take a break from the judging. This is really, really hard - because it is ingrained so deep. And it's not always showing up the way you would think. For example, today I was trying to back into my garage, and a neighbor had left what I think was an air conditioning unit outside their door, which prevented me from getting in my usual way. I was so annoyed. I was thinking about how inconsiderate that action was. Why didn't they move it to the side? Was this a handy person or was it the neighbor? Someone doesn't know the protocol... Judgement after judgement after judgement. And then I stopped myself. I realized, it was highly unlikely that they even realized it inconvenienced anyone. THEN I realized, I manage to get into my spot, just fine. I spent 2 minutes thinking they were horrible people, and realized I worked myself up over absolutely nothing. 

And this story isn't rare. I'm sure I do this 10x a day.

Your mission, should you choose to accept, is to spend one day completely judgement free. Only loving thoughts towards yourself and others for just one day. That doesn't mean the judgements won't arise, but do your best to quash them when they come. AND double whammy, when they come up- don't judge yourself for having the thoughts! 

In summary

The world we live in is full of judgements. By giving ourselves some self care, and by choosing to judge less, we will love ourselves and others more! Yoga reminds me to have a beginner's mind, love and accept myself where I am at, and to love others unconditionally. I hope that through reading this post and doing this exercise, it helps you do the same. 

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Are you going to participate in the self care and judgement detox challenges? I would love to hear if you participate and how it went! Use #shedselfcare and #shedjudgementdetox so I can see! -AHS

Wellness Hack: Frozen Foods

Today I decided I needed to share with you my biggest wellness secret...FROZEN FOOD. Yeah, I said it. Frozen. Food. I'm not talking about old school TV dinners, I'm talking about REAL food, just frozen. 

How is this a hack, you say? Because it seriously keeps me on my game. It's an excellent tool to keep in the Shedding toolkit. Here's why: 

1. It helps you SAVE money!

If you are buying plain frozen veggies, many times they are less expensive than buying fresh! I know, it's crazy! Most of the frozen vegetables I buy are not more expensive than if I bought them fresh. Don't get me wrong, fresh is great, but not necessary for every meal! 

Also, when you have food that is at it's peak ripeness, and you know you won't have a chance to use it before it goes bad? Throw it in the freezer! Say no to food waste! 

2. You don't miss out on any nutrients

How? Doesn't freezing destroy the nutrient value? Actually, in most cases it preserves the nutrients! Most frozen foods are flash frozen at the peak of ripeness when the nutrients are prime for the eating! A lot of time food travels thousands of miles to get to its destination. During this time, many fresh fruits and veggies lose some of their prime nutrients. This is also why shopping local is best! :) Who knew frozen could even be better for you than fresh?!

3. You are always prepared! 

So if you are like me, and are never home OR if you are planning a big trip- frozen food will save you when you come home. Let's say you get back late and have to get right back into a crazy work week upon arrival? No time for the grocery store? No problem! You have all the fixins for a stir-fry or a burger in your freezer!

4. You save time! 

No chopping, washing, trimming or peeling for you! If it's frozen, it's ready to go! This turns an hour long meal prep into 30 minutes. And who doesn't love that?

Here are some of my favorite frozen foods and foods to freeze! 

• 3 minute microwavable packages of brown rice. These are my absolute favorites. I mostly use them in buddha bowls or stir-frys. Also great for soups too! 
• When I'm going on a trip I buy enough meat for 2-3 weeks and storing anything I won't use that week in the freezer. Chicken and ground turkey are my go-tos, but even bacon works! Meats defrost beautifully if they aren't in there too long! 
• Frozen shrimp- I buy cooked and uncooked. When I'm really tired it's great to have cooked shrimp ready to go for a pasta dish. 
• 2 ingredient frozen turkey burgers. So easy, so healthy. What's not to love! 
• Trader Joe's has an Organic Quinoa, Kale, Sweet potato, Carrot bowl thing that is an easy meal when you are not in the mood to cook. 
• Frozen riced cauliflower- I use this instead of brown rice to lighten the carb load when I need a lighter meal! 
• Broccoli florets- I pretty much could use these in any dish. 
• Bell peppers- Same as above. 
• Frozen berries for dessert- I love to eat these whole in the Winter. It's almost like eating ice cream. My favorites are cherries and blueberries. 
• I love throwing overripe fruit in the freezer for smoothies. You could also throw them in with cottage cheese or use them in chia puddings! 
• Spiralized veggie noodles - easy peasy ready to go! 
• Frozen shelled edamame - another #shedapproved snack

What do you guys think? Into frozen food or not about it? I'm also curious to know what else do you freeze? I am all about expanding my frozen food repertoire – I would love to hear any of your tips for me! 

Wedding Celebrations: A Guide To Healthfully Making It Out Alive

A wedding could be defined as one beautiful day where you marry the love of your life in a ceremony and then throw a party for your family & friends. That’s what I thought before I was engaged at least. Oh, how wrong I was. 

A wedding really is a series of events.  Depending on your style (and the generosity of various friends and family) these are some of the events that may be included in your “wedding season” (as my mom referred to mine!): 

1. Engagement Party (informal, formal or both)
2. Trying on dresses. Followed by dress fittings. 
3. Picking out bridesmaid dresses with yo ladies
4. Meetings with vendors (varying from venues, florists, photographers, videographers, bands/djs, wedding ring shopping, etc.)
5. Catering/Menu tasting 
6. Cake tasting
7. Bridal Showers (could be thrown by bridesmaids, relatives on either side, colleagues or all of the above)
8. Bachelorette 
9. Welcome party (for out of town guests)
10. Bridal luncheon 
11. Rehearsal
12. Wedding
13. Day-after brunch

It is easy to see that the wedding is actually just one day in a slew of nuptial-related events. Ideally, you want to feel bride-y and festive for every single one. But how to handle so many, especially the ones surrounding feasting?  Below I take a look at some of the hardest events to navigate. I have compiled my best advice as a past bride and health coach to navigate your “wedding season.” This should help you feel your best and enjoy to maximum capacity. 

General Rules of Thumb for Your Wedding Season

Remember that this should be one of the happiest times in your life. Don’t let the stress of planning, and weight loss make it any less enjoyable. No matter what – resolve to be present, and enjoy every moment of the process. Planning the wedding and the events are the majority of your time spent, so make it count. Also, when you are stressed, your body releases the hormone, cortisol, which makes it very difficult to lose weight. So keep it chilllllll. 

If champagne is present, you are obligated to have a glass. You are the bride, and you deserve it! Celebratory champers is a must. However, it is important to not over indulge, particularly in the final events right up to your wedding (welcome party, bridal luncheon, rehearsal). While you are most likely at the weight you will be at for the wedding, alcohol is a huge bloat offender. So have the glass of bubbles. Don’t have 5. 

Overall, remember that consistency is key. While there are quite a few events in prep for the wedding, you have plenty of other days of the week where you can be eating clean! It's all about striking a balance, my friends. 

Engagement Party 

This is typically quite a while before the wedding. Least amount of pressure. Sample food. Live it up. Try not to overdo it but don't stress if you do. Just enjoy. 

 

Showers

Normally closer to the wedding, now is not the time to indulge. If you know there is going to be some amazing food, try to manage your meals before and after so that you can have your cake and eat it too! Feel free to try bites of everything, but eat slowly and pay attention to your hunger cues. 

 

Catering/Menu Tasting

It is so important to try everything because this is what your guests will be served, so this is not a time to be skimpy. That being said, try one of each appetizer (or if you trust your future hubs you can delegate), and be sure to try all of the entrees and wine selections (if you are having it). Operating word being “try”. You do not need to eat all of the food placed in front of you. If you don’t like wasting food, you can see if they will give you boxes. The key is to not feel like the giant blueberry kid from Willa Wonka at the end of the meal. 

Cake tasting

Honestly, what is better than tasting your wedding cake?!

The beauty of tasting is that it is just that, a taste. So unless you are gluten intolerant (and if so, perhaps look into GF desserts) you should be able to enjoy this part of the wedding process, no problem! Just remember to take small meaningful bites. 

With one of my cake tastings, we ended up with 12 cupcakes to take home. While I wish I could say I gave them away, the truth is I slowly ate them, ¼ cupcake at a time, alongside my boo. Bad form ladies, bad form. Learning from my mistakes I highly recommend finding out in advance if you are going to have leftovers (call the bakery and ask). If you are going to have leftovers, drop them off in a care basket with friends.

Try to do this early on in the wedding process so you aren't stressing it! 

Bachelorette 

This is the time to let loose! When else are you going to have all of your girls there to party with you? If you do go the traditional bachelorette route, try to have the party more than a month before the wedding. Then get right back on the healthy living track post-soiree. This ensures that you won’t sabotage all of your hard work! 

However, if raging isn’t your thing- more power to you! I know ladies who have done trapeze or pole dancing classes bachelorettes. Active and booze-free (aka calorie-free!), you can have a blast and be working towards your dress-worthy bod. 

welcome party, bridal luncheon, rehearsal dinner

These events usually directly precede the actual wedding. The good news is, you already fit in your dress, the key is making sure you feel fabulous the day of your wedding. 

During these events, engage in the practice of mindful eating, chew slowly, and eat until you are full. Try to avoid breads and cheeses (keeping your digestion nice and clear for the next day).

Ideally, drink celebratory toasts but make sure you don't have more than a couple drinks. Alcohol, besides providing lovely hangovers the next day, can create bloat in the body. If you do wake up the morning of the big day and you are feeling less than your best, I recommend drinking some dandelion root tea (add to your shopping list now!) - it is an excellent de-bloater.

The Wedding and Day-After Brunch

Congratulations, you made it! The morning of the wedding - please eat a light breakfast (eggs or oatmeal are good), even if you have nerves (#nofaintingbridespls)!

During the events eat as much food as you can, when you can, because you are going to be pulled away almost immediately to go round to tables or chat with someone you haven't seen yet. Everyone is there to see YOU, after all. Cheers to your happily, healthfully, ever after! 

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What do you guys think? Do you feel prepared to tackle your wedding season? I hope these tips help! Let me know your thoughts below or on Instagram! Xx - AHS