Be Still. (Quarantine Special Part 3)

I have been reading one page a day of Morgan Harper Nichols book, “All Along You Were Blooming: Thoughts for Boundless Living”. I flipped open to this page today. Too perfect to be coincidental!

“All of humanity’s problems stem from man’s inability to sit quietly in a room alone.”

-Blaise Pascal

Quarantine has been a very strange time, indeed. One of the things many people are struggling with is the absence of activity. We are so trained to be diverted in our every day lives, that this has really thrown us for a loop. Over the past few weeks people have really found creative ways to fill their new found time. And honestly, I think most of it is really great. From making banana bread from scratch, connecting with loved ones, crafting, reading, and moving our bodies, I think people are really searching for the good in this situation. We have found new routines, new grooves to our day to day lives, even though we are at home. I love that people are so into perfecting their wellness habits right now. (Keep drinking that water, cooking at home, and moving your bodies!) That being said, I really do feel that this was a wake up call from the universe telling us be still and learn how to be present.

This is a spiritual opportunity that rarely comes around. I mean let’s be honest, this is a first in most living people’s lifetime. Now is a great time to reflect and confront some of life’s serious questions. It’s great to reflect on where you want to go, and I think this is a great time for that too, but do you know how to just be? Meaning, “being” without creating, moving, being successful? Do you know you are worthy of everything in this world, and not because you earned it? You are a child of God (creator/universe/whatever word resonates with you), made of the same elements of the stars. You are infinite in your essence, in your soul. And you don’t need to accomplish anything in order to be worthy of living an extraordinary existence. Truly, your worth is not tied to your accomplishments. Let’s say it one more time for the people in the back, “YOUR WORTH IS NOT TIED TO YOUR ACCOMPLISHMENTS!” We are worthy just for existing.

Woah, I just went there on you. I know, that is a lot to process. But I had to say it. Because we need to hear it and it is just not said enough. Maybe go back and read that last paragraph again before moving on.

So how to just be in daily life? My number one tip is to meditate. Take 5 minutes, sitting with your eyes closed, and focus on the breath (or the sounds around you if that is easier for you). When you pause like this, it allows you to be conscious of the present moment. That is my number one objective for you after reading this. I know that is easier said than done. We have so much resistance to just sitting and being still. I wrote a post on meditation you can find here. I hope it will help you get started. In addition, on Instagram this week we have been doing a mini-meditation challenge. Please join us.

Most humans are never fully present in the now, because unconsciously they believe that the next moment must be more important than this one. But then you miss your whole life, which is never not now.

- Eckhart Tolle

In addition to meditating, here are some of my recos for creating stillness in your life:

• Schedule time away from your phone. Full stop.

• Go out in nature (if you are able to do so safely with separation). Observe the birds, the trees, the animals. Sit quietly in nature. Feel free to be still or contemplate the meaning of life.

• Put time on your calendar daily for stillness.

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So there is creating stillness in your life, and then there is also taking advantage of this pause to ponder some of the bigger questions of your life, and life at large.

One of the things I’ve been doing is working through “The Journey Journal” from Vosges Haut-Chocolat maker, Katrina Markoff. (I would link it here but I think it only comes with a very pricey chocolate set - I received as a gift! There are lots of great journals out there like this though.) In some ways this may feel contrary to stillness. But in the stillness we are sometimes able to see the bigger picture of our lives more clearly. I would only do this after you have added stillness into your life.

The journal gives some great prompts that I have been processing when I have a quiet moment here or there. Some of the following are from her, some are my own:

• Do you feel in alignment in your life?

• What would you shift?

• What is the purpose of your life?

• What is your relationship with God/ the universe like?

• How do you want to grow as a person?

• If you could change the world or your community in one way–what would you do?

• What are you willing to desire?

• What are you willing to experience?

Reflect on these questions, if it suits you. Now is a great time if you can. If not, that’s fine too. I hope that you choose to focus on stillness and being in the present moment. There is no past, there is no future. There is only right now. The past is just memory. The future is just anticipation of your mind. Only right now exists. This is really hard to fathom, especially with us all in quarantine, but I think it may be even more important to process right now because of that very fact. As it is Holy Thursday, I will leave you with this:

“Be still, and know that I am God!” - Psalm 46:10

Disconnecting to Reconnect (Quarantine Special Part 2)

This is my first stab at embroidery. I used a kit from Sarah K Benning. I highly recommend. I hadn’t done any sewing since I was a girl scout, so this was a great for beginners!

While connecting during this time (and always!) is super important– knowing when to disconnect is maybe equally important. We could all become zombies from staring at our devices too long. Holding our own boundaries is even more critical during this time. In my last post, I mentioned how everyone’s social calendar instantly freed up with quarantine. Just because we could be connecting with friends and family all of the time, doesn’t mean that we should. Don’t squander the moment to do something for yourself! Whether it is more self-care time, starting a new hobby, or just reading a book, this time is rare and precious (even it feels like we have an abundance of it right now!). Don’t let social media or even binge-watching consume you. Schedule time to disconnect from it all and reconnect with yourself.

Also, this may sound privileged, and… it is. If you have the ability to do these things right now, it is absolutely a gift. I know everyone is different in their amount of free time right now: many people are working from home, many have lost their jobs, and many are still working out in the world (shouts to our healthcare workers, police officers, military, etc!!!). These are difficult times, and so many people are struggling. It is okay to not feel okay right now. I hope these ideas will help you feel a bit more normal and happy during this weird time. [If you think you are struggling with depression, I know many therapists are scheduling virtual sessions right now. Please seek help from a professional. <3] My ideas for disconnecting from our screens, and reconnecting with yourself follow:

Making fresh meals can be inspiring, and uplifting, I swear!

• Set an intention every day. It could be the same thing, or you could try to change it up. It could be one “must do” on your “to do” list or it could be a feeling. Just pick something that will make you feel good, or accomplished.

• When you do interact with social media, make it count. Try to not just scroll infinitely. Try to engage with the posts, and really connect with people. Don’t spend too much time on it.

• Get outside, even if it is cold, for a walk or run, or anything (BUT PLEASE KEEP YOUR 6 FEET OF SEPARATION!). Nature can be so restorative. So is a little sunshine and vitamin D.

• Read books. Whether it be a novel or something that gets your creative juices flowing, start tackling that reading list! Books can take us to other worlds and spark passion even in the weirdest of times (ahem… right now!).

• Have a living room dance party. In the words of Tay Tay, just “shake it off!”. It will help you immediately feel better!

• Start a new craft or hobby– I just tried embroidery for the first time over the past couple weeks and I loved it (photo above). I see more projects in my future. Other ideas: painting, knitting, scrapbooking, digital photography, baking, gardening, yoga, writing, puzzles or even legos! Let your hearts be free to explore! Pick something that really speaks to you and you can get excited about.

• Or reignite an old passion–did you once have a hobby you loved but fell away from it because life became too busy? I’m thinking about that guitar sitting in the corner…now is your time to start again!

• Cook. I know this falls under the category of hobby, but I think it deserves a separate bullet point. Cooking right now is so important. Spending time learning how to make food that is healthy and delicious is worthy of your time. Healthy eats will keep you feeling good!

• Create a new nightly or morning ritual. Up your skincare routine, take a bath, or even journal. Use this time to get your healthy habits in place!

• Try a new exercise activity–so many fitness studios/instructors are live streaming and creating downloadable classes. I posted several of my favorites on Instagram (they are saved under my highlights). Take advantage of it!

• Slow down, be still. Learn to sit with yourself and feel your emotions. This is also known as meditation. :) See my post on meditation here. More on this to come.

Overall, use this time to help feel more in tune with yourself, not less. We may be stuck at home, but it doesn’t mean we can’t make this time remarkable. Stay safe, friends. -AHS

And the people stayed home. And read books, and listened, and rested, and exercised, and made art, and played games, and learned new ways of being, and were still. And listened more deeply. Some meditated, some prayed, some danced. Some met their shadows. And the people began to think differently.

And the people healed. And, in the absence of people living in ignorant, dangerous, mindless, and heartless ways, the earth began to heal.

And when the danger passed, and the people joined together again, they grieved their losses, and made new choices, and dreamed new images, and created new ways to live and heal the earth fully, as they had been healed.

- Kitty O’Meara

Connection in a socially distant world (quarantine special part 1)

I’m not sure who is the originator of this meme, I just saw it circulating the internet, and thought it poignant. If you know the author, send me a note and I will credit!

One of my core desired feelings for 2020 (and for most years, really) is connection. Since I started working from home full-time (going on 3 years ago!), and now staying home with sweet baby James, I have been craving real-life interaction with other humans besides my husband and immediate family. So I am well acquainted with the stir-craziness the rest of the world is now just discovering. Pre-quarantine, I made a conscious effort to plan in-person coffee dates, lunches, and now kiddie-friendly mom and baby activities to alleviate the feeling of isolation. Without an workplace environment, it is a hard feeling to shake.

One of my long-distance besties and I have been debating this concept for a long time–we have increasing access to friends and family wherever they are located, but sometimes it seems like we are as disconnected as ever. We are “connected” through social media platforms, but do we really engage with our humans? Or do we just scroll and drop a “like” here and there? Sometimes I feel like I know what’s going on with friends and family because I’ve kept up with their posts on social media feeds, but we all know that is a poor gauge of really knowing what’s going on from behind the scenes. Your feed may be perfectly curated, but that rarely, if ever, shares the full picture. Furthermore, sometimes our devices are actually the cause of feeling disconnected from our loved ones. We are physically there, but our brains are occupato with whatever we are doing on our phones/tablets/or computers (see meme above!).

Cue global pandemic 2020.

With our new found reality, corona virus looming, and most people doing their part to socially distance themselves from their neighbors, we have found ourselves relying on technology to fuel our connection, almost exclusively. Technology is an amazing gift right now. While I do miss in-person interactions, social gatherings, restaurant eating, and the overall hum of city life– I’ve felt more in touch and connected to “my people” as ever.

This pandemic, keeping us housebound, has actually, in a weird way leveled the playing field. You know that one friend who has every day of the week scheduled with dinners and events?Or that friend with 2 small kids always making playdates and carting her kids to sports? Well, everyone’s schedules have now dropped off entirely. There is no social calendar, for work or play. Everyone is desperately seeking out connection in our isolation.

Some of my favorite humans, happy hour-ing. :) Laughter is the best medicine these days.

As humans, we are designed to be social. To interact with one another. And being socially distant is really hard! It is truly a wonder how we have been able to stay connected during this period of self quarantine and stay-in-place orders. I’ve been able to talk with my closest friends across the country, whether it be through FaceTime, Zoom, Marco Polo or just a normal phone call. Virtual happy hours with some of my nearest and dearest have been a highlight of my year so far, quarantine or no! You may have seen I shared on IG that my 88-year-old great aunt, Vita, did a live stream of her cooking a classic Italian supper, braccioli and gravy. What an amazing way to feel close with her from afar!

I think face-to-face interaction is what is really fostering the connection. Posting is great, but actually connecting in live time is so much better. I know I am far from alone in connecting with friends this way, but if you haven’t yet–it’s definitely worth your time!

Here are some ideas to connect during quarantine:

• schedule virtual happy hour/ coffee dates/ general catch ups with a friend (or many!), and actually put it on the calendar. It gives you something to look forward to! No excuses.

• spend your time on social media actually interacting. Don’t just like a photo. Leave a comment, send a message. Get a conversation going.

• Do a Facebook or Instagram live of something you are good at! Live like Aunt Vita! Share your expertise with the world!

• Do a watch party of your favorite show with your friends.

• Join a virtual book club or start one!

• If you are on your own, ask a friend or family member to have dinner over Facetime.

• Play JackBox Games over the tv in live time.

• Actually foster your relationship with the people you are quarantined with (whether it be roommates, spouse, family, etc.) Turn off the tv/ put down the phone. Play games, talk to each other!!

Some other sweet ideas in the new Jack Daniel’s ad below.

How have you found ways to connect during social distancing? Do you feel closer to your fellow humans these days, like me? Remember we are all in this together. Please stay safe, stay home, and if you do venture out–keep 6 feet apart from others! It’s all of our responsibility to prevent this virus from spreading! Cheers from afar! -AHS