Honoring Life Seasons and a Glorious Mountain Getaway

Last year, on the ten year anniversary of backpacking through Europe, I was sitting on the couch, at home, with my newborn child. As I sat there, I thought about how that version of me looks nothing like this version of me. The version of me that boarded a ferry in southern Greece to travel through the night to southern Italy looks a lot different than the woman in gym shorts, holding a baby on the couch, still waiting for her body to heal.

And here's what's true: neither of those versions of myself are worth more or less than the other. The woman heating up leftovers is worth no less than the woman dining at sunset in a village that took a passport to get to. We are the same person in different places. Both are integral parts of who I am.

I share this for anyone who feels like the current version of themselves is less than another version. Maybe you used to travel a lot more than you do now and you're desperate to get back out there. Maybe you used to be in love with someone and you're no longer speaking and you can't help but wonder, "was I more charismatic or beautiful back then? Did I lose it?"

You didn't lose it. You're still beautiful. You're still worthy of love and a meaningful life, no matter what has changed. People change. Seasons change. Relationships change. But you are still you. You are not worth any less than your former self. Saying goodbye to a quote-on-quote "adventurous" life doesn't mean you're saying goodbye to yourself as a whole. Leaving behind a relationship or a place you used to love doesn't mean you're leaving love behind.

Whoever you are on this day, right here, right now, is more than enough to continue living a beautiful, meaningful life. You don't have to wait any longer.

There are some things you can only learn by traveling the world and this is also true: there are also some things you can only learn by staying in the same place for a decade. Traveling far away can be incredibly valuable but it doesn't mean it's the only way to learn.

It is definitely easier to get unstuck when you're able to go somewhere near and start something new, but it's not the only way. You are allowed to come alive right here, however that looks. Even when the days are blending together.

You may not be able to break out of the city like you want to, but perhaps you can still break out of old ways of seeing yourself. You can be curious and learn from who you are, right now, in this space.

There are times in life where leaving is the best thing you can do. And there are times where staying in a seemingly boring and uninteresting space can shape you. It's not the same for every person and every situation but what matters at the end of it all is: you don't have to shame yourself for feeling like you're stuck. You don't have to fear that there's no hope for who you are becoming because the present moment isn't what you hoped it would be. – Morgan Harper Nichols (original post here)

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My favorite modern-day poet/artist, Morgan Harper Nichols shared the most inspiring post on her Instagram a few weeks ago (full caption above). It was a beautiful reminder that we need to embrace and honor the season of life we are in. As we returned back to our home in the city after an extended hiatus, it made me realize that so much about what I have been missing, I had been missing since BEFORE COVID, and really began with mamahood, or even really, pregnancy. I have felt disconnected from my constructed sense of self. I always think of myself as an adventurous, ambitious, optimistic, free-spirited traveling soul. In pregnancy, I felt very far from those things. In general, I didn’t feel like myself and I hated it (and it had nothing to do with my body image either! Pure, hormonally-induced depression).  Post-pregnancy- I felt like myself again- but I also had no time to be me outside of being a mama. Not to mention the worry that comes with becoming a parent.  I’ve loved being this little dude’s mom, and at some points, I have been very happy to get “lost in motherhood”. And that is 100% okay. I want to honor the season of life I am currently in– because really this time is precious and is already flying by. It is totally fine to not be jet setting around or crushing it in my career right now. Sometimes that’s hard to process. But I am a woman outside of being a mother and I don’t want to lose sight of that either. 

We had been staying in Boulder for the past two weeks, and we didn’t want to be too far from the little man, so that narrowed down our search for night away. We debated hotels, spas, the works. But in the end we wanted to be close to nature, away from humans, someplace cozy, and someplace to take a good soak (or a “tubby” as Conor calls it! lol). We landed on an AirBnb- The Fall River Cabins. It was exactly what we were looking for. It was super cozy, rustic, and gave us access to an incredible hiking trail on the premises that lead into Rocky Mountain National Park.

This creek ran right behind our cabin. Just lovely!.'

Now my little bub is over 1 year old. I am ready to make time for more ME. Our little mountain getaway was the perfect remedy. I could’ve used a full weekend, I’ll be honest. But baby steps :) one night was hard enough (for this mama and James’s grandparents)! 

My brain needed the time away to have a moment to regroup. The time away gave my mind space to breathe, pause, take stock, and recalibrate. 

The time in nature (without worrying about bub) helped me feel like myself. It got me into my body and out of my head. It reminded me how strong I actually am.

Time alone with Conor gave us time to plot out our next moves as a family. It helped us align on what we wanted, and even more specifically, what I wanted to do next. Not to mention, much needed alone time!

I was able to walk away with an actual plan on how I wanted to go about accomplishing what I wanted. (Sure, can most people do that without getting away? Yes. Is it really hard to carve that space with a little bub hanging around all of the time? Also, yes.)

I was able to sleep. Fully. Deeply. With so much space around me. And completely uninterrupted. God bless. 

I was able to come back to my lil man restored and ready to give him my full attention. 

And while I have enjoyed every day since this little love was born–now I’m excited again about the future. And I feel like me again. The me that can do anything she puts her mind to. And that feels like the best! <3 -AHS

Taking a good tubby, helps me to reset and let my mind rest. Bonus points for fire gazing simultaneously.

Nothing like starting the morning with a coffee + soak!

Morel of the Story

I don’t quite have the words to capture the magic I feel in this place. Particularly in this rainy spring weather. The birds in chorus. The forest full with fresh greens. Moss covered trees. Fungi on everything. Damp bark, the clean, fresh air. Little tree frogs. Red tailed squirrels. A white tail frolicking away from us. The energy of trees that are hundreds of years old. The view of the river bluffs carved from the same glacier that made the ole Mississippi.

I’m at my dad’s (no longer working) farm, that has been in our family for almost 200 years. The farm land (consisting of corn and soybeans as crops) was sold a few years ago. What’s left? 150 acres of woods, creeks, ponds, and furry friends!

Sup lil brah

I want his shell to be replicated into art for my home! So pretty!

An atmosphere perfect for foraging morels. Morel mushrooms are incredibly good tasting mushrooms that can’t be cultivated. They (seemingly) just grow at random during the Spring. They are native to the midwest– and they are fabulously yummy. I’ve only come down to the farm maybe twice before during this time of year. I remember coming as a kid, and being very disappointed in the process. My husband has a joke he loves to say, “Alexandra vs nature”– well imagine a young kid version of this. Bugs? Cold? Rain? Looking in dirt? Yeah not so ideal. But adult Alexandra, while still hating insects in my space, handles all of this much better. And in fact, I kinda love it!

Walking in the woods, listening to the birds, the crunch of the branches beneath my feet. It is very much a magical, meditative experience.

Then comes the actual search process. This is the part I am learning I am not so good at. I thought being so distinctive, I would have no trouble with this. Pattern recognition is my jam. Well, finding them is a pretty random game. There needs to be some sunlight, so that the land isn’t too moist. And they tend to be close to elm trees, but not necessarily directly under them. Lots of rain seems to help them to pop up, too.

I’m embarrassed that my initial thoughts made me feel like I was in a real life version of Zelda. Searching for any oddities or things out of place. I felt like I was pretty good at that. I found a tree frog, countless spiders, a deer antler, various other types of fungi, deer fur, and more. But the morels… a bit tougher. I found the first one of the trip, but my beginners luck ended there. The thrill of finding one is addictive. It feels like finding gold–nature’s gold, that is! 

My dad really seems to have a knack for it. Miraculously, on day 2, my dad found the hot spot of all hot spots. We found an area with about 100 morels! It was like hitting the jackpot. So so satisfying, everywhere we turned we could find one! So satisfying. 

This is beyond farm to table. This is natural food, uncultivated, just created because mother nature is incredible, then foraged and immediately put on the table. I’m beginning to understand the appeal of hunting. I’m much happier with being the gatherer in the hunter-gathering scenario though! 😅

I’m so thankful for the experience: for the connection to the land and my food! “Morel” of the story: I came back after 3 days having a much deeper appreciation for all that our mother earth provides for us! -AHS

How to Prepare morels

In terms of preparation- simpler is better! My step mom lightly breads them and fries them. A delicious option if you are into crunch! After cleaning them thoroughly (and I mean thoroughly!!!) I prepared them in a large pan. I heated them and let them release their water for a few minutes. With some of the mushroom juice still available I added several pads of butter, and white wine! They pair beautifully with pasta, steak, or even a burger!

How He Asked

The pictures from our 2013 phones are really not great quality. So this is from our engagement session the following Spring. Photo by Kristin LaVoie Photography

Yesterday was the 5 year anniversary of our engagement! In honor of the occasion, I wanted to share the story of how he asked!

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The year was 2013. The town, Chicago. Conor and I had recently moved back to the States after a glorious year living down unda, in Sydney, Australia. While we had lived together when we were there, when we returned home, he got an apartment close to his office, and I moved back in with my parents. So to see each other, we would often have weeknight date nights after work.

That fall I had started volunteer tutoring with an awesome organization, Chicago Lights, located on Michigan Ave. It was a tutoring evening, so when I finished he picked me up and told me we were going to this sushi place in his neighborhood.

We were driving towards dinner, and I notice he missed the turn, and then he turns the opposite direction from sushi. At this point, I’m thinking, “What’s going on? Where are we going? What’s happening?”

We pull up at the Radisson Blu, in the Aqua building (Conor’s favorite building in the city at the time). He says, “Surprise! We are doing a staycation here tonight! There was a flash sale (lol not true) so I thought it would be fun!” This was not that far off from our occasional change up in routine, so it wasn’t completely out of character. But I was definitely deep in my head. “Is it happening? Or is he just being spontaneous? You’re imagining this.”

We get up to our room, and it has a killer view of the Wrigley Building and all of the Christmas lights along river. Even the bathroom had a view! We stepped outside on the balcony and it was freezing, and promptly returned inside. We then looked at the view from the bathroom for a while. Meanwhile, my mind is going crazy in every silent moment staring out the window. We finally got out of the bathroom (thank God!) and found ourselves in a cozy corner looking down at the Christmas lights. Next thing you know he starts saying all of these really nice, loving things, that I couldn’t repeat even if I tried, because a moment later he was down on one knee and I was mess. He asked me to marry him and the rest is history. 💘

I had never been that girl pestering and wondering when it would happen. And it’s interesting, for a really long time I didn’t want it to! We were so happy as things were- I didn’t want marriage to change things. Also, to be fair, I am a child of divorced parents who met in college (just like us!) and I did not want that fate for myself. We had been together for 6 years when I finally felt like we could begin to approach the subject of engagement! I know, I’m crazy. But when the time came, I could not of have been happier or more ready.

What I love about Conor and our relationship is that we know each other sometimes better than we even know ourselves. He told me later, he didn’t even know the night before he proposed, because if he knew, he knew that I would figure it out. So he had to surprise himself in order to surprise me! He had the ring for months before finding the right moment to make it happen. He also knew that I wouldn’t be keen on something large and public, despite the fact that he is super charismatic and thrives in the spotlight. It was a special night that was really just shared by the two of us- which made it all the more meaningful to me.

It’s funny because in someways your engagement is the beginning of your story, even though it can feel like a fairytale ending. There is so much ahead, both beauty and hardship. We have been through so much over the past 5 years (I mean really 11 years now!), and have so much more ahead of us. Being married is the process of falling in love, over and over again. 💖

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So that’s our story! I would love to hear yours too! Comment below or send me a note on Insta or FB! Happy engagement season, beauties! -AHS

My Best Friend's (African) Wedding

Photo by Eileen Laubscher, BrightGirl Photography.

To give a bit of background, the my bestie, Anna, lived in Cape Town for a few years, a few years ago. That is when she met Awonke back in 2012. (Fun fact: I came to visit her and met him the month before they started dating! I'm very glad I did because I wouldn't have gotten another opportunity to meet him for at least another 3 years after that!) She moved back to the States in 2014 (right before my wedding!) and these two lovebirds have been doing long distance ever since. I won't go into specifics but it has not been an easy road for them. Through long distance, to immigration issues – it would have been so much easier for them to pull the plug on this relationship a long time ago. But they didn't, thankfully, because they love each other a whole lot.  This wedding was sublime, not just because of the setting or culture, but because it was the start of a new beginning for these two beautiful souls who deserve to be together, wherever they want to be, forever. 

The wedding took place in Durban, South Africa in April – and it was glorious. 

My only picture from that night that is worthy of sharing. 

Day 1: Bachelorette Party (and Bachelor Party)

I flew in and made it by 8pm after delays lasting for more than 8 hours! Woof. Not everyone was in yet, but we had a lovely evening drinking wine and catching up with some of my favorite humans. Just, ya know, in Africa. 

Simultaneously the bachelor party was going on, and I think it was a bit... more wild... than our evening. 

Day 2: Welcome... and other monkey business

This was the day mostly everyone arrived, so there were last minute details to finish. We distributed welcome bags to the hotel rooms of the guests. They were stacked with goodies, one of which was "biltong" a South African specialty, which is basically another form of beef jerky. The local monkeys knew that there were goodies inside- and I was "attacked." Dramatic. Basically, the monkey lunged at me so I would drop my goods. Luckily, a groomsman came to my aid and escorted me to my room. Because I kept the welcome bag... the MONKEYS FOLLOWED ME to my room! Here is a sentence I never thought I'd say or write – monkeys are sexist and harassers. It's true!! They leave men alone and harass women. Also side note: when I was in Cape Town in 2012 we were attacked by baboons... ask me about that story another time. :)

Welcome to (birds of) paradise

Bride and Best Man

The bride hearing about the previous night’s bachelor party antics.

Welcome bags prep with a view

Note: biltong and Hershey’s kisses… monkey bait.

The Mama of the Bride <3

Monkey sighting, part one

I still thought they were cute at this point.

Spot the monkey

This is the exact monkey and spot where my “attack” took place.

Sitting outside my room, waiting for me

Beaching with the MOHs

This salad was just too amazing not to share

Jungle vibes at the BnB

Good People Begetting Good People

A group shot at the welcome party.

Welcome party fun!

Sisters + me :)

I also was able to go to the beach with the sistah's of the bride (and co-MOHs!). And that evening was the welcome party! It was amazing to meet so many wonderful people who love my friends just as much as I do. It's always fun to meet friends from different phases in life, but rarely do you have an opportunity to meet friends from another continent. "Good people beget good people,™" is my wedding mantra and this wedding did not disappoint. The party went on long into the night! I should've gone to bed early, but hey, lost track of time, begetting goodness. 

Day 3: It's happening! Wedding day!

Today was the day we had been waiting for, the actual wedding! It was a perfect day. I woke up to a spectacular sunrise (#jetlag). We drank bubbles alongside our dandelion root tea (#shedtip to cure bloat! and yes these two things probably cancelled each other out), got our hair did, and took photos. The ceremony was in a church on top of a hill, with a window wall behind the altar that overlooked the ocean. I was honored to do a reading and be one of the witnesses to their union. The priest was a character. And here is really where things began to get interesting. The groom's family sang the most beautiful songs every chance they could, (you can hear some post wedding in the video below). It was just the beginning. And just like that, these two were married!

(Please don't judge my video skills - I was just trying to capture some of the music and dancing of the day! I legit have no editing skills, feel free to fast forward!)

The cocktail hour looked out over the ocean with an abundance of incredible food. The reception was full of love, laughter, tears, and 10 speeches. No, not a typo, 10 speeches. But they were interspersed throughout the evening and flowed beautifully. There was spontaneous dancing mid-eating. More singing. Dance offs. It was perfect. 

Beautiful bestie bride

Wedding day sunrise

FOB and the Groom!

Us!

Sistahs

Cocktail hour with a view

Note- the bride’s favorite food is bacon… Can you spot the bacon wrapped dates?

Protea

The national flower of SA that were featured prominently in the wedding bouquets, decorations, and lastly the details in the bride’s ring!

Day 4: the Zulu Wedding

I don't think I've mentioned yet that the entire wedding experience did not feel like real life. It was incredible. And then, the Zulu festivities began. And then it really felt like a dream!

To be clear, I am no where close to being an expert on South Africa's history or culture, but I will try to illuminate on what I do know. There are many tribes (I believe I've read that there are more than 3000) in South Africa, but there are two main tribes that tend to dominate - the largest is Zulu, the second largest are the Xhosa. IsiZulu is South Africa's most widely spoken official language. The groom's father was Zulu and his mother was Xhosa, but it's a patriarchal culture so he is considered Zulu. Even for a lot of the South African's there, many had never been to a Zulu wedding, so it was a privilege to have been in attendance. 

As a member of Anna's "tribe," we waited patiently at a neighbors house down the road from the groom's parents, waiting for Awonke's tribe to come fetch her! They came singing and dancing down the road singing that Anna was their's! 

Really the best way to describe the day is by watching the compilation below. It includes a lot of singing and dancing. It ends with an impressive performance by the groom!

(Note: The groom's brother, Anelisa, was married a couple years ago, but they did not have a full Zulu celebration, so they celebrated his marriage at the same time. So there are co-grooms and co-brides in some of these photos.)

The co-grooms! Awonke (left) and Anelisa (right).

Aren't they beautiful? The co-brides in their first outfit change for the day! Belinda (left) and Anna (right). 

The father of the bride after receiving his blanket! 

Earlier in the week, the family had slaughtered a goat and a cow in honor of the festivities. In Zulu culture it symbolizes to the ancestors that a celebration is beginning. What I think is wonderful is that they use every part of the animal. The hide of the goat will be made into a rug for the newlyweds. The meat was served at the reception. They passed around a feast of bread, sweet potatoes, regular potatoes, goat and beef on platters a plenty. I unfortunately didn't get a picture(?!). Shocking I know, I think I was just too excited to eat it! 

The ceremony was long – about 4 1/2 hours - but as you you could see in the video, it was mesmerizing. A large portion of the time was dedicated to gift giving. From the groom's family to the brides and vice versa. The gift of choice were blankets. Everyone gave everyone blankets. I'm not sure what the symbolism was behind it, except for general hospitality - and if you ever come to visit you know there will be extra blankets! 

In the Zulu tradition, Anna had to put this necklace around Awonke's neck to make their marriage offish. 

The moment! 

Many of the elders in the family gave the newlyweds advice. Ranging from conjugal rights to not looking at your husband's phone, the topics proved entertaining!

The elders had a front row view of the festivities.

Met these fun ladies on the way to the bathroom!

Love them so much! 

We ended the evening celebrating the groom's birthday. Can you imagine a better way to spend your birthday?! 

We are singing "Happy birthday" - can you tell?

Outfit change with a view! 

The only pic I have with both of them! 

There is probably so much I missed, but I tried to do the celebrations justice. The weekend was so joyous and truly was a celebration of love!  I was honored to be involved. And I will end with this: 

"Love recognizes no barriers. It jumps hurdles, leaps fences, penetrates walls to arrive at its destination full of hope." - Maya Angelou

Cheers to the newlyweds and their happily ever after. - AHS 

Yoga Teacher Training and Upcoming Travel

A very zen koi pond at the Yoga Barn in Ubud, Bali. 

Hello my friends! A personal post coming atcha today. :)

A peek at my first homework assignments. 

As many of you may know, my preferred form of exercise is yoga (for more of my thoughts on fitness read here). My first experience with yoga was in my second semester of my freshman year at Indiana University (Go Hoos!). I enrolled in yoga as an elective, thinking it would be fun to try. It changed the way I felt about exercise, and opened me to the mind-body connection. I hadn’t been an athlete in high school, so moving my body wasn’t something I had realized could affect my body AND mind for the better. I fell in love with the movement, and how yoga made me feel. 

Sometimes I am more into the physicality of the practice, other times for the mental peace and clarity that comes from the focus on the mat. Through my practice I have cultivated a deeper sense of mindfulness that has led to a career changes and other shifts on my journey. 

The Yoga Barn in Bali (2012)

All that being said, I have decided to pursue yoga teacher training this spring. I have been contemplating teacher training for at least 5 years at this point, so it is time! I am hoping to deepen my own practice, and also bring my new knowledge to create some Zen for the Wed in your lives!  

I haven't decided how much yogi stuff to share with you guys, but would love to hear if you are interested in my learnings, asanas (poses), guided flows or meditations or anything else related to teacher training. 

Doing TT locally (not somewhere warm!!), just thought this pic captured my excitement and vibe at this moment. Xx

On a related note: one of my long term goals is to practice yoga on every continent. So far I have practiced in (North America - duh), Australia/ Oceania, Africa, and Asia! Europe is up this month. I will be traveling to London this month for a week celebrating my birthday! I would love your recos - particularly for some healthy eats and yoga studios. 

Today is my first day of teacher training, so please send some good vibes my way! 

Namaste :) 

AHS